"Not a G, But I Can Hit the G-Spot"

F.Y.I. - Nasty Girl 2009

A Jerkin group without a Myspace? Now I've seen everything. This is kind of like the skinny jeans version of Wait, and that's a compliment.

Swagger Like a White Boy

GM Boyz - Jerkin & Twerkin 2009

This is my shit right here. West Coast party Rap in skinny jeans. I guess it already is West Coast party music, but you know what I mean. I swear this won't become a Jerkin blog, I've just been spending a lot of time grabbing stuff off digitaldripped.

"Like OJ Simpson I Just Wanna Stab Her"

Cam'Ron and Gucci Mane - Cuffin 2009

Dude needs some new promo shots, but I'm cool with using this one again.

More Jerks

Vaughn da Kid - Feelin' Real Dougie 2009

Less slap in this "Jerkin" track, more stumbling synths and samples. Reminds me a lot of the Bay Area Myspace song stuff from a few years ago. Oh wait, so does everything from Southern California right now. If Hyphy ain't broken, why fix it? Vaughn the kid hails from the internet San Fernando Valley and has been rapping since 6th grade. His cousin Young Piff handles most of the production, who also did a song about talking on AIM. There used to be shame in the internet, where did all this brazenness come from?! I realized recently that this is pretty much the first time in my life that I've listened to music made by significantly younger people, for a significantly younger audience, which makes me officially old.

Canadian Electro Psych to Houston Rap in One Move

Lil Keke, Fat Pat, Big Moe, Z Ro... - Juicy Freestyle (from DJ Screw - Straight Wreckin 1994)

Straight Wreckin is about 50% dudes rapping over Juicy, and this is the monster 12 minute slurred karaoke session. The whole tape sounds completely broken, with a lot of high pitched tape error meets delay that almost sound like Prick Decay. Hey, lets name check again and say that the track titled Lil Keke and Fat Pat - Talking and Playing Over Echo Machine sounds a lot like Free Psychedelic Poster Inside. As if talking into a microphone fucked up wasn't enough, somebody had to go and give them effects too. You can find basically every Screw tape on your own, but I like highlighting the various "what the fuck" moments, obviously.

In other news, I made a Facebook page for this site where you can be part of my fan club.

20,000 Pack Fans Can't Be Wrong

YB - Ratchet 2009

I ended up with way too many Jerking songs, and this one is the best of the recent batch. Less skinny jean talk and basically a textbook slap beat that would pass in the Bay a couple years ago. Some of these kids have me really concerned, especially Snatch Time Productions who sound no older than 14. Way too young to be getting geeked up dudes. That aside I'm digging TF, Lost Generation, and Vaughn the Kid too.

Still Strawed

Paille - Week-End Lan Rivé ft Byronn (from Mots Pour Maux 2007)

Paille aka Straw Man got his nickname from being too drunk during Carnival, or as the locals of Martinique would say he got "strawed". I've heard some cool words for inebriation but that has got to be the weirdest one. As far as production goes, this is a bit more what I expected French Caribbean Dancehall to sound like if it was maybe on a more traditional Zouk tip. By that I mean not freaky Trance Riddims like Krys, and not even the almost Coupe Decale sounding stuff. My shitty translations of a few interviews concluded that he's as big a Reggae fan as he is a Kassav fan, so all the Accordions are here a reason. Mots Pour Maux is a pretty fun party vibe album that I've sort of been using as an upper to combat the grimness of Gwadada while I'm strung out on this French stuff.

Juketard

Lil B - Alright Daddy 2009

With plenty of Lil B talk going on I never saw this track talked about, a good thing for me because it fits perfectly on this website. There was a little Based God party going on at my house last night, which consisted of me and my fellow swagtards sporting smoking jackets and pipes while listening to audiophile Youtube quality music through my hundred thousand dollar stereo. He takes on the form of God, the Devil, Phil Collins, and in this interesting case, DJ Nate-era internet Footwork. It's all logical based on the fact that all of Lil B's music is brought to us through Youtube, as is all the high school Juke. Not at all the first shred of Ghetto House influence to embrace the Bay kids, but I'm definitely more interested in this case of warbling pitch than the Pack's Frank Ski nod.

Revolution of Your Ass

An ice cream cart has been playing this in my neighborhood lately, followed by a 20 minute block of MIDI Christmas songs. I was first introduced to the song that started the Lambada craze through the Sun City Girls on Torch of the Mystics. Their version is Llorando drunk around a campfire, a slightly different world than Bolivian pop band Los Kjarkas. My jaw dropped when I first stumbled upon this video because I couldn't believe they were the same song. I imagined it's origin to be bottles of cheap tequila and cowboy hats, not creepy up-skirts and poofy hair. Aware that the Girls version was a cover, I was actually searching. Someone told me it was an old Amerindian song, and with the cover wearing the name The Shining Path I was convinced it was a song about the Communist Party of Peru. Well I was wrong, and since then have acquired about 5 Cumbia versions, a few Merengue ones, and about 20 oddballs. The video that goes along with this famous Andean hit is an essential part of the experience, which is why I didn't throw up an mp3. Absolutely one of my favorite songs ever, which I think is kind of strange.

Ain't Go to School for It

Plies - Chef (from Goon Affiliated? 2009)

Plies had to kind of grow on me, but his hoodies and timbs creeper joint All Black from last year sped up the process. I'm totally down for some scary Rap, and this beat is kind of a demon. Florida has always had a thing for bass, and this one has some subtle techy-sounding moments even. Plies is basically mother fucking yelling at you, and his third-person dope rap game is nice. Does anybody ever talk about guns anymore?

Throw Out the Red Carpet , Ima Bout to Park it

S.O.S. Band - Don't Stop the Music Screwed and Chopped (from DJ Screw - On A Pint 1995)

The skeleton of what is to me THE Houston song, Fat Pat's Tops Drop presented the way it was originally intended to be heard. I love finding these little gems scattered throughout all my Screw tapes, which serve as Texas Rap history books and proof of Davis' love for music. I think I've already posted a few tracks from On a Pint, which is one of my favorites. Slow burning soul, weird 80s funk, and Big Mello.

Whips and Thangs

La Yegros - Trocitos De Madera 2009

If my job was to keep readers up on the new when it's actually new, I would fail. And by that I mean "internet new", so 12 seconds after the recording is made. Fresh material is always fun, but people really need to slow down. That said I have been so psyched on this song and I don't feel lame for being the last one to talk about it. King Coya's computerized dub gets down on all fours and the poor thing is whipped by a Cumbia slave driver. Really, whip cracks are the new gun shots, Argentina's 2009 answer to last years cicada sounds. Less in the ZZK vein of electronics, more in the vein of bodega bootleg MIDI but with war drums. "Professional" villera production with a dark tale about the pleasures of shuffling thighs to complement it. As sonically interesting as it is a main ingredient for sore feet. What I'm trying to say is, the best kind of music.

Cumbia de la Tierra Tarareo

Sonido Desconocido - Cumbia del Falso Contacto (from La Super Cumbia Futurista 2008)

Laptop Cumbia pop where the bass line consists of the biggest enemy of your stereo, ground hum. We all grabbed a handful of this Distrito Federal based experimental twee futurista stuff from Ongaku Club a while back and I guess this one slipped through the cracks. I was busy being awed by the cuteness of Los Wendi's. I imagine this would sound even better at my parents house, where hum and radio interference is unavoidable.

Go Go Bands>Other Bands

What Band - Single Ladies (from 3/27/09 @ CFE Bootleg 2009)

One more Go Go joint for today. Notice how they naturally screw and chop themselves at the end (?!). This is why I listen to this stuff.

Also, this book just got re-released with some great new pictures.

Yo Hair is Messed Up

New Impressionz - Chicken Head (from Live 9-6-09 @ Icon 2009)

I wish this was a lot longer but hey.

Lil Boosie - Super Bad

The rapper responsible for making both a certain kind of haircut and sticking pills in a girl's rectum popular was sentenced to 2 years in prison the other day for possession of a bag of weed, a Philly, and a firearm. A week prior to entering a plea deal, Super Bad, the Baton Rogue native's second studio output was released to the world as a time capsule to what Lil Boosie's career was in 2009. While the mixtapes get put on pause until 2011 (or 2010 for good behavior, which is not the case in Wisconsin), the album left behind has a decent shelf life. As far as what your used to, It's all here really. The slum shell-shock (Mind of Lunatic), the new favorite to hear while drunk (Loose as a Goose), the car song (Crayola), the Ghetto blues (Pain). In many aspects it's in the format of most Hip-Hop albums, but the typical Rap life spiel sounds right when it's sparked by that nasally Louisiana fire. I mean would anyone listen to Lil Wayne or Juvenile if they sounded like Guru? With an overall major label appeal directed at the feminine market, even the R&B twee moments have charm. Just listen to Miss Kissin' on You for the words "I miss your macaroni and cheese" and even the hardest dudes will crack a smile. In the traditional sense, it's Rap music for driving your car, or in my case for riding in the passenger seat. Not all music has to be interplanetary, for not even Fabo drives a spaceship yet. Unfortunately we have to attach the word FREE to another great rapper's name on a T-shirt, and hopefully the joint treats Mr Wipe Me Down right. Now go get yourself a Boosie fade.

And She Liked It

Busy Signal - I Fucked Your Girl 2009?

I somehow missed this on Ghetto Bassquake a while back, but luckily I was reminded by Spoek Mathambo (who I didn't know had a blog! ). I think I like this even more than Elephant Man corrupting Drake. Busy crossed Katy Perry's little "look at me, I had a bisexual experience " stunt with a thoroughbred duppy and the babies were hideous. One of the funniest songs I've heard in a minute

Montreal Mad Again

DOWNLOAD

I think dude is a little late for the celebration but they do things differently in Canada. Contains the Wipe Out Riddim.

As Nasty as Fi Wanna Be aka Daggering Fuss PT II

Original lyrics to Vybz Kartel and Spice's Ramping Shop

Well, yuh haffi ram it hard

Di cocky nuh fi lie

Damage it fi spite

Not becah mi pussy tight

Suppose mi put it pon di lef

Gyal yuh tek it pan di right

Censored for radio revised lyrics to Ramping Shop

Well yu ha fi rev it hard

Drive it full speed and crash it if you like

Da gear stick ya feel rough

Put di car inna di garage

Drive in front way or back it up

Til di headlight show.

Some listeners will claim that these lyrics are 'cleaner' than the original since Kartel and Spice are pretending to be talking about driving rather than sex. The lyrics are 'suggestive' rather than sexually explicit. But even without knowing the original lyrics, it is quite clear what the version is supposed to suggest. The gear stick is obviously meant to be a penis. The garage is the vagina in which the car is parked.

(From the Jamaican Gleaner March 29th 2009 "Daggerin' With Cleaner Lyrics")

I've been trying to keep up with the censorship issues in Jamaica and trying to pay less attention to the Pon De Floor video internet controversy. The Broadcasting Commissions ban states "There shall not be transmitted through radio or television or cable services, any recording, live song or music video which promotes the act of 'daggering', or which makes reference to, or is otherwise suggestive of 'daggering'." Now, throwing tables at women is not something I support, but free speech and sexual dancing between consenting adults is. Notice I said consenting, and that first part is sort of complicated when I hear Man to man, gyal to gayl dats wrong in the Ramping Shop intro, but hey I chose to listen. How these cleaner lyrics about "cars and garages" will stop people from bending over I have no idea, and I think Horace Andy said it best: “I don’t think it’s right to play those kind of lyrics on the radio, cause if you beep it out, the kids still know. My daughter is four years old, and she knows every word of Rampin Shop.”

Interestingly enough, the Gleaner article points out the Latin origin of the word vagina which means sheath or scabbard, a housing for a knife or DAGGER. What surprises me is that most vulgarity in Jamaican culture that I'm aware of is more rooted in physical repugnance (like "bloodclot") rather than Germanic words like "fuck" which are a lot closer in relationship to "dagger" for they both involve some kind of striking (or thrusting).

To be continued...

New Lower End Spasm Mix

DOWNLOAD

A great paen to the tom tom sound of Chicago, complete with those same hi-hats found throughout the Dance Mania catalog. A reminder that House music was Ghetto before Ghetto House announced that the bitch was naggin'. OK, so it's not all Windy City material at all, but a very tasteful mix of the 808 spectrum by the UK's Jam City. I'm not trying to get on some snobby shit, or scowling at anything outside of the land of Lincoln, but it sure is refreshing after hearing so many a mix containing shitty Major Lazer mixes and bland Baltimore House. Points for the Deeon joint too.

Tracklist:

intro/keith sweat
quentin harris (viggs afrodesian mix)
dj sdoko - world on fire
jam city - funked out
dj sdoko - wesjomza feat mthoko
temza m'remb'l - eclipse
jam city - clocktower
dj twitty - sweet dance
jam city - in the park
kingdom - joshua juke
dj deeon - let me bang (jam city refix)
jam city - szabo
jam city - island
dam-funk - searchin' for funks future (jam city edit)